Meditation is Not Enough

I have been a big fan of meditation for many years; but I have always used it like a band-aid.

Meditating for 10 minutes in the morning, or trying to breath in and out when I felt stressed. It was not until when I went to a silent retreat practising Vipassana that I have discovered the true power of meditation. Why some people swear by this and why it can almost be addictive. What I have come to realize after this silent retreat of sitting in silence for many days is that simple meditation techniques that is designed for the fast pace world of today simply will not be effective. We are attached to our phones almost from the moment our eyes are awake, if we are being honest, how much would ten minutes of meditation a day do? On the other hand, when I went to Vipassana where I meditated for longer than 10 hours a day, I finally touched something that felt ... almost divine. It felt like insight, where my body seems to have merged with the ground beneath me and I felt the disappearance of time altogether.

I was kicked out of this retreat after 8 days (I think I asked too many questions, a story for another time), I got handed back my phone. And for the first time since I can remember, I felt the weight of this device - what it was taking away from me. It took away my ability to be present; touching the present as it truly is; the colors that came with this, the lightness of my body, my abilities to think with no influence, my ability to focus and concentrate, my ability to touch joy just by looking at leaves cloaked in the rain. On the drive home, I was reading on my phone to my partner about an article I found interesting, it was a while before he asked me to stop. Turns out, I have been reading aloud for almost half an hour. Time felt very different to me when I first came back to civilization.

After Vipassana, I got pretty obsessed with trying to keep onto the insight I touched while at the retreat. I remember trying to do walking meditation as I got onto my normal tube journey in London, I kept up my meditation practise for over a year where I sat for an hour every day to meditate. But pretty soon, I realized, I was craving the sensation I can tap into when I get into a zone of meditation but ... the truth is, it was not actually giving me the transformation I was hoping for in my everyday life. I still felt the pace of life getting faster, I still felt pessimistic at work, I felt my anger in the same way, I felt my perspective as solid as it has always been, I still felt the dark shroud of clouds when I open my eyes. Everything was pretty much the same apart from my ability to tap into this feeling of lightness when I meditate. However, one day, something changed for me. I remember that I was blamed for something happening in the family, instead of reacting, I suddenly felt the mechanisms of my body at work. I felt the increase of speed of blood pumping through my system; I felt a sensation bursting onto the back of my brain. Instead of being outside of my body, I was in it. It was the first time, I felt something activating inside of me that allowed me to naturally change my response to something without it being forced.

From all of this, I realized the long arduous journey of self-transformation is a dedicated effort. But with the world transforming faster, with the increase in pace of technology, the rise of AI and social media; this form of dedicated effort for self-transformation ... is simply not feasible. But that does not mean it can do nothing for you. Rather I realized with my own journey, when we combine this with techniques developed from psychology - we can build a way of self-transformation that is more sustainable for this new world that we live in.

Rituals And Self-Healing Schedule

After many retreats, I have learnt one thing - that is collective structure can bring about more meaning to events then if we were to do them alone. But actually, we can simulate the structure and give it more meaning by the intention which we bring about our regular schedules.

Rituals

What do I mean by rituals here? I don't mean some form of religious ceremony you perform. I mean time that is sacred to you where you can build up energy for yourself, and this time is dedicated to yourself on a regular cadence. This could be a regular bath you throw for yourself in the evening; or creating a nice ambience in the evening before you tuck yourself into a nice book. It could also be a spot where you meditate. It could be a time in the morning where you do some somatic exercises. For me, I notice, the more care I put into my rituals and the regularly I do them, the more I get out of them. It is not just creating an aesthetic, it is creating a space of familiarity that allows you to easily tap into a feeling. At your darkest of times, often you will succumb to something that takes minimal effort which gives you the greatest source of comfort. If you have these rituals at your disposal where you often do them, then when you are in need of a recharge it will take minimal energy to get this set up for you.

Self-Healing Schedule

In my time at Plum Village, we wake up between 5 to 6. We come for sitting meditation and noble silence. We then proceed some mindful exercises then mindful eating. Afterwards we do some service meditation. In the hall we can hear the bells ring, and every time it does so it is an invitation to come back to ourselves. In the afternoon we have something called Dharma sharing, which is a practice of deep listening. Then in the evening we finish with another round of meditation and noble silence till the morning.

During times of deep suffering and doubt, it is so important to start from taking care of your body and your basic needs. This could be eating well, keeping up with gentle exercises. But to lessen our cognitive load; it is extremely important to have a schedule to follow. Something we don't have to think about; but something that takes us out of our bed and into the day. Something that allows us to touch nature; the sunrise; the birds chirping at the darkest of times.

In episode 45 of the podcast on "The Way Out is In"; the lay practitioner Nick Kenrick talked about how sticking to a schedule can allow the inner healer; our innate capacity to turn over suffering into transformation to arise. I thought this was such a beautiful way of finding the first steps to healing. Not forcing us to understand but letting a schedule become the framework where we can turn in ward and observe our very nature. Note that this is very important. It is a schedule for healing; not a schedule that can possibly lead to even darker spaces.

Actively Shaping Your Environment

In the tradition of Plum Village, there are idea of sowing the seeds you want to reap where the seeds are manifestations of your mind. This could be compassion, this could be anger etc etc. But in order for the good seeds to grow, the soil needs to be fertile. What this means is that in order for us to become the best versions of who we are; we need to actively shape our environment so that that it is easy to do so. This environmental shift is something that does not need to be revolutionary. It could be a clean desk, a bed that smells nice, maybe a disconnect from technology. But of course, in some cases, it requires a good look at who is in your orbit. Do they bring out the best sides of you? Does your work remind you of the compassionate you? We need to shape our environment to our advantage, it is in many cases far better method than pure self will for transformation.

Self-Compassion First, Insight Second

There are some very powerful techniques developed for psychotherapy that is actually linked with Buddhist philosophies and meditation practises. When done right, they can be a more direct access into your own subconscious and body. I am talking roughly about techniques where you turn off your thinking mind and actively question your own bodies. This is linked to compassionate enquiry; internal family systems; shadow work etc etc. For people who practice meditation, we are often asked who is the observer and who is being observed when we observe our ownselves. This line of enquiry creates a healthy distance between you and your emotions when we notice we are both the person we are observing and are also the observer. Similarly with the therapy techniques above; this line of work simply put asks you to ask your body what its holding and what it needs. These techniques when done right can bring about strong insight in the moment when it matters.

Gentleness and Non-Forcing.

When it comes to meditation and other activities, I realized approaching them with a very gentle intention can help a great deal. It used to be that I set out my time to meditate, it was very intentional very solid. But like I said above, with the fast pace world of today, this is simply not feasible. I realize that I can actually be very gentle with my practice and doing this any time that I can. For example on a simple hike, or even when I am typing, I find myself gently noticing my breath and slowly becoming aware of my body. As this is not similar to meditation but it really helps me tapping into a calming energy whenever I need. When something is forced, it often defeats the purpose that you have set out to achieve. It's ironic. But sometimes there are days where there is some darkness. Here, gentleness and non-forcing is key.